Meet The Burger Guys

Three Friends. One Mission. Too Many Burgers.

It started the way most good things do: an argument over dinner.

Anthony said Marlowe had the best burger in SF. Stu said it was Causwells. Jason said they were both wrong and that WesBurger's smash was the move. Nobody was willing to concede.

So we did what any reasonable group of adults would do: we built a rating system.

The Rules

1. Three dimensions. Meat, Bun, Essence. Each scored 0–5.
2. Independent ratings. We don't discuss scores until after submission. No groupthink.
3. No sponsored reviews. We pay for every burger. Always.
4. Every burger gets a written review. If we're going to rate it, we're going to explain it.

Anthony The patty perfectionist. Anthony worked in kitchens before pivoting to tech, and he brings that palate to every bite. He's the hardest grader on Meat — his 4.5+ is rare and meaningful. His reviews are the most technical.

Stu The architecture critic. Stu evaluates burgers like buildings: structure, proportion, how every element relates to the whole. He's the most consistent scorer (lowest standard deviation) and the one most likely to notice the bun.

Jason The essence hunter. Jason chases the X-factor — the thing that makes a burger memorable. He scores Essence higher than anyone else and has been known to argue passionately for a 3.5 burger that "had something special." His reviews are the most opinionated.

What's Next

We started in San Francisco because it's home. But the system works anywhere. The scoring framework is universal — Meat, Bun, Essence translates to any city. We're actively recruiting rater crews in Oakland, and New York is on the roadmap.

If you know a burger we need to try, submit it to The Queue. If you want to rate burgers for your city, we want to talk.